What it really feels like to give birth

Note: all birth stories vary and are unique to each individual

My sister-in-law recently gave birth to a beautiful boy WITHOUT EPIDURAL. Now that is a crazy birth story on its own.

I actually really considered not using epidural and thought that perhaps my pain tolerance is higher than usual. However, during the actual delivery process I caved. Here is what went down.

My pregnancy was relatively smooth except for loss of appetite and morning sickness in the first trimester. We also had a health scare about Enya during the 20 week scan, but I shall write about that in another post.

Apart from that, I was blessed in a way to be pregnant during Covid lockdown, as I could take time to rest at home and focus on taking care of my body. I also enjoyed the meals and date nights with Ls.

We went the through the public route at KK Hospital, but opted for private consultation from the 30th week onwards. We chose Dr John Tee as our gynaecologist as he is a chop chop no nonsense doctor. Consultation time is 10 minutes tops. Best record would be 5 minutes. I liked that. I didn’t need any sweet words of comfort - I wanted professionalism, accuracy and get me out of the hospital asap.

Honestly, one of my greatest fears about giving birth is the pain I would have to endure during the birthing process. It always seemed like a inevitable torture that I had to go through just to bear a child. However, truth be told, 9 months is more than enough time for that mental preparation. By the 36th week of pregnancy, I was done. I was ready to just let that baby pop because the discomfort and weight I carried was also no joke. In total, I put on 16 kg from start to end, and my feet were bloated such that you could not see the shape of the feet. It was just one lump of meat.

Now here’s when the exciting part begins. During the 39th week when I was supposed to deliver, I was checking myself everyday to see if I had signs of losing the mucus plug or any contractions. Finally, one day, I started spotting (having bloody discharge). Then, I had mild contractions. The hour had arrived! Ls and I excitedly packed our hospital bag and made our way to KK Hospital. It was around 10pm.

When we arrived, the staff asked me, from a scale of 1-10, how painful were my contractions? It was 2. Not painful, but you could feel it.

We had the option to go home and wait or check in to the hospital ward. We decided to wait awhile at the hospital downstairs to see if my contractions increased. After 2 hours, my contractions increased to about 4 out of 10. It was still bearable but I could feel the cramps. For all you ladies, it is like mild period cramps.

When we went back to the counter, we decided to check in, and thank God ‘A Class Ward’ was available.

We did a series of checks, tests, waited to be warded, and by then my contractions were steadily climbing. I told Ls, I think I just want to get an epidural. Who knew - I needed to wait for 1 hour for blood test results, before the epidural could arrive. Maybe this is a product of KK Hospital being a public hospital, we don’t know. While I was waiting for the blood test results, I did have laughing gas, but that had no effect for me.

Anyway, by the time I actually had epidural at 3.30am, my pain was around 8 out of 10. The contractions were so bad that I could not move, I could only cling to the side of the bed and breathe, hoping for that few minutes of calm before the next wave of contraction hit.

So for the ladies, imagine your period cramps ramping up by 10 or 20x. For the men, imagine your muscle cramps that you’ve experienced before, be it at your legs or any other part of your body, ramp it up 10-20x, and cramp that at your abdomen area. Now cramp it every few minutes for 1-3 minutes.

Actually, if you give birth quickly, I still think the contractions are probably bearable without epidural. However, the problem is you don’t know how long you need to endure the contractions before you deliver. Sometimes people deliver in 2 hours, sometimes in 24 hours. When I thought about that, with no time horizon in mind, I decided I should just go for the epidural.

Finally, the epidural came. During the injection for the epidural, you do feel the pain of the local anesthetic needle inserting into your back. However, that pain is trumped by the contractions, so it is really bearable.

When the drug kicked in, it was really like a warm blanket that covered me from my rib cage down. Finally, I could feel nothing - not even my legs actually - but that was ok. I could finally rest and sleep.

One side effect to note from epidural is the cold shivers. I had uncontrollable shivers, I kept shaking and it lasted for awhile. But after awhile, it was ok.

Around 7am, the nurses came to check in on my condition. I was stable, but around 7.15am, my water bag broke. I knew it cause I could feel a sudden pool of liquid below me. Now this was something I did not know - movies always show the water bag breaking at the start of the delivery process. Mine was at the end.

At 7.30am, the midwife checked in on me and said that the baby’s heart rate was dropping. I needed to deliver NOW!

The joke was that Dr Tee wasn’t even around when this happened, as he did not expect that I would deliver so quickly. He said that he would arrive in the hospital at 8am. I delivered at 7.51am.

When the midwife sounded the alarm, immediately 4 people came to me. I have no idea who they are, either rotating doctors (as 7.30am apparently was the rotating shift), or nurses, or midwives. Anyway, 2 people were at my legs and 2 people were at my tummy. Ls was tasked to hold up my head.

They told me to push. I actually could not feel my muscles but I used my imagination to activate my muscles to push. The nurses/doctors standing at the sides of my tummy pushed my tummy to pushed Enya out. That was interesting, as they really pushed the tummy down very hard. They also lowered the epidural dosage, but I wish they hadn’t. Because of the lowered dosage, I could feel the tear when Enya finally popped out into the world. It was a burning sensation, but thank God it happened in a few seconds, and I only took around 5 pushes!

This cheeky monkey was born at 2.6kg on 27 January 2022, and you can see her cheekiness from birth!

It was certainly a memorable and enriching journey and I shall write about my post-partum recovery another time. That is another story in itself.

Overall, having gone through the birth process once, I would say that with epidural, I wouldn’t mind doing it again! If, however, there is no epidural, I would maybe have second thoughts - thank you to whoever invented epidural!!!

And finally, thank you to Ls who could do nothing but sit quietly while I suffered in pain the whole night. He provided the utmost support which is crucial in my view to a mentally and emotionally healthy pregnancy and delivery journey.